If you're a pantomime regular, you'll be ready to enjoy innuendo, glittery stage design, and heavy make-up - you could easily mistake the stage for being at Sparkles bar in Gran Canaria.
Whilst the show is funny, many of the jokes won't land if you're not in the target audience (gay men over 30, if not 40). The show pivots from obscure opera referencing to a sing-along in the style of Modern Major General. This is gay panto gold, but you might feel like fool's gold if you don't get the reference.
You can probably tell from the title ‘A Horny Love Story' that this is an adults-only pantomime. It's not just flashing lights you'll see, but a flash of leg, a fair amount of swearing, and an inflatable plant.
Matt Kennedy (Mamma Mia; We Will Rock You, West End) plays Bertie (sounds close enough to Beauty), our hero who is off to save his Mammy from the Beast played by Keanu Adolphus Johnson (Tina: The Tina Turner Musical, West End).
There's a great joke that if you don't see a twink onstage, you might worry you're watching real theatre. Unfortunately, Kennedy doesn't have much to do until after the interval, but he delivers strong vocals in his act one solo. When Kennedy and Johnson come on stage together, their presence lifts up the show, and the faster pace of the second half is an enjoyable romp.
The first act is all about our pantomime dame Matthew Baldwin (who has been a big part of gay pantomime in London), delivering quips, slapstick comedy, and serving Loch Ness realness.
Baldwin as Mammy Flora (easily spread), delivers a darkly humour line so unexpected that it's a stroke of genius to add to the script.
Laura Anna-Mead (Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Barn Theatre) plays Bertie's twin sister Bonnie and has her own love story plot with the enchantress from down under. Why was the Enchantress from Australia? Probably because the costume department had some Sydney Opera House shoulder pads going spare. It didn't feel like this show was laughing with lesbians, rather, laughing at lesbians.
Chris Lane (Ghosted: Another F***ing Christmas Carol, The Other Palace) plays the capitalist Cornelius. The role isn't very villainous, just a camp stereotype, which I suppose is scary to see on stage these days. A good panto has someone you want to boo, and in a world where we have so many real villains, it should be easy to create a character to heckle.
This small cast delivers a lot on stage, but it feels as though they're saving all the good bits for the second act, such as the teapot costume, a cheeky kilt moment, a cheeky joke about Charles and Andrew, and lyrics about staging a Dear Evan Hansen musical on an oil rig.
If you were hoping to see a bit more happen between the beast and Bertie, this might not be your happily-ever-after.
It runs until 11 January.
Review: James Dix Photos: Steve Gregson